The Runs On The Treadmill...

It had been a long time since I had done a dedicated run on the treadmill. The last I remember of doing

a dedicated run on the treadmill (10kms, which I did quite frequently back then) was in early 2018. A lot

has changed since then. I’ve put a bit more fat on my belly and my legs have started to give out the

strength and endurance they once boasted. A lot has happened in life too. Amid the mediocrity and

inevitable predicament of our lives, between working from 9 to 6 and accepting what life brings along,

we start to question the nature of our reality. Perhaps, to divert myself from these evil thoughts eating

me out, I had to resort to running, and yes, running I did.

19th July 2021, 8PM, a usual day spent at the office, working from 9 to 6 with a little bit of slacking off in

between. Dinner, a bit earlier than usual and I head off to my room. Perhaps, I want to close out the 

world for a while. But when I do so, who will save me from my own thoughts? Also, I have been running

away from responsibilities and decision-making about life and future. So, I told myself why not do the

actual run? Maybe, this running activity can also help me rediscover my stamina and endurance in

futsal which I so dearly miss. In the next few minutes, I headed to the university gymnasium and started

running. I had made up my mind to do a 10km run. Well, it’s only been 10 minutes and I am just running

at a speed of about 10km/hr but I am already gasping for air. My eyes keep glancing at the stats monitor

to check if the distance has changed any bit since the last minute. My legs are sending my brain the

signal to stop. But I tell myself, I must keep going. If I give up today on the run, I might never convince

myself to be able to do another 10km run again. So, I keep running. Occasionally, a nearby lady peeks

at my stats monitor. Am I disturbing her with my noisy run or are they just pitying me at my status? My

face is washed with sweat and I can also feel my shirt drenched in my sweat. Of course, I had to lower

my speed in between (I can’t run continuously for an hour at 10km/hr without any prior build-up). It has

been a long hour, especially for my legs. Even with the hour mark, I am not able to complete my 10km

run, so I still continue running. A few minutes later, I completed my target run of 10kms. My legs are

tired and I can barely stand. But my brain and my heart is overjoyed and a little smile gleams across my

face telling me “You can still do it!”. 

21st July 2021, 8PM - After the 10km run on the treadmill earlier, I decided to do a 5km run tonight. I

don’t want to put additional pressure on my legs and who knows there might be an unexpected

invitation to play futsal tomorrow night. So, 5km it is. I started running on the treadmill with my

earphones plugged in, ignoring the noises around. Thankfully, the lady that I had seen earlier is not

around the gym tonight. I guess I need not worry about some stranger looking at my stats monitor or

pitying me. Tonight, I am already doing better than the earlier day, running at 12km/hr, my legs can still

keep up. Perhaps I should do this continually to get back in shape. However, not everything is easy

tonight either. Sweat beads start rushing down my face and I often blow out breaths of air from my

mouth. There is a television attached to the treadmill, but I decide not to turn it on. I see my face

reflecting from the turned off black mirror. When people say that running can be a form of self

reflection(pun intended), is this what they meant? My footsteps are creating a ripple wave causing the

television to vibrate and in turn blurring my reflection. This blurred self-reflection sparks a thought in me.

The thought that the way I’ve been running away from my life and responsibilities, are they blurring,

trembling my life? As I see my blurred image on the display, I reminisce of my past and compare myself

to what I have turned out to be against what I thought I would be. Indeed a moment of self-reflection.

Motivational words have been ringing out from my earphones in the voice of Les Brown reminding me

not to give up. Umm, I am not giving up on the run nor on life. Certainly this motivation and inspiration

may not last long, and unfortunately my fears will start to haunt me again. And when they do, I will run

again and remind myself that when I run, I feel alive. That running is a way to keep moving on, a way to

hear the beating of your own heart and an effort to chase something you love (or flee something you

dislike, haha). My 5km run was completed with rather ease on my legs tonight but it has left me

questioning - what am I running for, what am I running away from? I don’t know the answers to these

yet, but what I know is that I need to run. And running, yes I will. 

Aaa, if you were bored or disappointed with this article, here is a nice video from a friend about why he

loves to run. (Spoilers: Ladies, watch out for his lovely voice and the majestic pictures in the video). 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy9gdfVKKjQ 

So, why do you run and what are you running for? Running for the president, eh? Don’t know it yet? No

problem, maybe just try running! 

Keep Running!!